Changing Times

One thing consistent about living is the guaranteed change that happens. Sometimes change happens slowly and sometimes it floods all at once. The challenging part about it all is how to handle each of the hurdles of change.

Recently I experienced a flood of change with my family that has coincided with slow change over the past few years. I have one living sibling, my older brother, who has a permanent disability due to complications at his premature birth. Because of that, he has multiple disabilities and is in need of round-the-clock care. After going to a school specifically for his needs for many years, he has since lived at home with my mom.

In time, he has improved on some skills like assisting with getting himself dressed and communicating when hungry. Adversely, there are other skills where he has decompensated over time. Most recently, his behaviors have made it especially difficult for my mother to care for him, especially as she is aging.

All of these things culminate in my brother needing to transition to living in a facility outside of the home with my mom. So many factors make this challenging for my mom and me. Most obviously, my mom has never experienced not taking care of my brother and this level of separation is incomparable. Additionally

, we are charged with to finding an appropriate setting where we can trust that my brother is cared for appropriately and adequately.

Caregiving in itself is of the most selfless acts one can do, especially for a family member. The responsibility, guilt, frustration, joy, sadness, and longing are all emotions that come to mind when I think of all my mom and myself have felt over the years. My hope for the future is that more resources become available for families who need assistance and support with a loved one. Similar resources should be accessible for the caregiver. Unfortunately, this resource is convoluted and disjointed in my home state of South Carolina.

As for my family, the journey continues. We are on the road to a solution that works both for my brother and my mom. If you or anyone you know has been a caregiver, I see you. And I'm with you.

With love,

Teresa